Do you have times when you feel you are not enough?
Smart enough. Attractive enough. Skinny enough. Lovable enough. Generous enough. A good enough parent, daughter, son, spouse...
Maybe it's time to look at WHY you may be feeling this way.
Let's take a moment to reflect on 'What If'...
What if that negative or critical voice in your head telling you that you are not enough, or that nagging feeling of not being lovable are just leftover messages from your childhood and teens?
What if you had a critical or unpredictable parent you had to tiptoe around and be the ‘good child’?
What if you felt you didn’t ‘fit in’ at school because you were shy or sensitive or had feelings of not being ‘good enough’?
And what if some of the children took advantage of this in a negative way?
What if you compared yourself with your smarter, prettier more popular sibling who tended to get the attention?
Or you felt your parent’s (perhaps subtle) disappointment when you didn’t get straight A’s or weren’t picked for the sports team or for a role in the school play?
What if you had to be the ‘adult’ in a household – maybe your parents were unavailable either physically or emotionally?
The messages we receive both verbally and behaviourally from those around us when we are growing up have a huge influence on our sense of self-worth. They shape our future choices in relationships, careers and well…everything in our lives.
BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THESE MESSAGES AND BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF ONCE YOU BECOME AWARE OF THEM…
Just imagine for a moment…
That you are good enough.
That you realise that no one is perfect. In fact, what is perfect and how is it achievable?
And growing up it was just your experiences that dictated your beliefs about yourself.
IMAGINE YOU ARE A PERFECTLY IMPERFECT HUMAN BEING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE...
How would it feel to recognise and accept this?
How would it feel to stop trying to please - to fit in – to stop wearing the mask to be different things to different people but never your true self?
How would it feel to be exactly who you are regardless of who you are with?
To be truly comfortable being you?
How much lighter, freer, less anxiety provoking would that be?
Think of all of that saved energy that could be diverted into creating a life that you live for you, not dictated by others?
IT IS POSSIBLE, BUT IT TAKE COURAGE TO MAKE A CHANGE...
As humans our default is to feel uncomfortable with change and uncertainty. We would often rather stay with what we know – even if it’s making us unhappy or unfulfilled.
But what price do we pay for this? We only have one life and only we can choose how to live it…
If you struggle with feelings of not good enough, or with making sense of how you are feeling or who you are, working with a counsellor can really help you.
You will understand more about how your past has shaped your current ways of thinking and behaving. Your self-beliefs. Those negative or critical voices. The choices you have made.
You can get to know who you are as an individual. What’s important to you. Your values. What makes you happy, sad, angry, joyful, content, fulfilled.
And once this new awareness is bought into your consciousness you can start to make changes and more informed choices in your life.
You can replace those negative voices with more positive ones - and believe them!
You can look to the future and make choices aligned with what’s important to you.
And throughout this journey of discovery, you become increasingly self-compassionate and self-accepting.
And you come to the realisation that...
YOU ARE MORE THAN OK JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
Warmest wishes
To learn more
Call: +44 (0)7767 658568
Marie is a BACP qualified counsellor and psychotherapist whose mission is to help men and women live a happier, more fulfilled life. She is particularly passionate at encouraging more men to attend therapy. If you would like to learn more, or are wondering if therapy is the right choice for you, please get in touch for a free 30 minute free telephone consultation.