When a man is deeply unhappy, desperately worried, or utterly lonely and confused, he will often pretend the opposite, and so no one will know. Early in life little boys learn - from their parents, from school, from the big world outside - that they have to pretend. And most will do this for the rest of their lives.
Steve Biddulph, Manhood
Men and Counselling
According to the Samaritans, 75% of suicides in the UK are carried out by men. Why is this? As a man you may have been bought up with messages such as 'big boys don't cry', 'man up' and 'stay strong'. This may have encouraged you to suppress your feelings and avoid discussing your problems. Which in turn resulted in you hiding the 'real you'. But this can lead to serious consequences.
Those buried feelings have to be expressed somehow. It may be through anger and violence because these are more acceptable emotions for you to display. Or they may become directed inwards and manifest as depression and/or anxiety. Or they may be numbed by alcohol, gambling, overworking or substance abuse.
In our work I help you gain an understanding of how important and natural it is to express all feelings. And the only way to find peace is to uncover and start living the 'real you' who may be buried beneath the layers of conditions and behaviours imposed on you throughout your life. Being vulnerable and being open about how you really feel is a sign of strength, not weakness. And it is the pathway to building deeper relationships and living a happier and more fulfilling life.